Earth Must Die: A Humorous Sci-Fi Adventure Worth Your Attention
Embark on a quirky journey through space with Size Five Games’ latest title, blending British humor, engaging puzzles, and an audacious storyline.
Earth Must Die: A Sci-Fi Adventure Packed with British Wit
From the brilliant minds behind Lair of the Clockwork God and The Swindle comes a fresh sci-fi escapade that promises not just laughs but also perplexing puzzles. Welcome to Earth Must Die, where British humor reigns supreme, featuring at least one alien sex orgy and enough cerebral challenges to make you question your very existence.
A Fair Price for a Memorable Journey
While I tend to shy away from discussing price tags, Earth Must Die comes with a relatively appealing cost of £12. This modest investment secures you a four to six-hour jaunt filled with witty banter and captivating puzzles, all beautifully presented in vibrant graphics. It’s a great deal for a game crafted with such care.
Available On: PC
Reviewed On: PC
Developed By: Size Five Games
Published By: No More Robots
Meet VValak Lizardtongue
The story kicks off in a galaxy far away, introducing us to VValak Lizardtongue, the third spawn of the emperor of a sprawling space empire. Far from being his father’s golden child, VValak seizes a rather bloody opportunity to climb the corporate ladder after a family mishap involving a metal girder. Soon, he finds himself at the helm of an empire teetering on the brink of disaster.
Running low on a crucial mineral, VValak decides to scan a previously blocked sector of space, only to discover it’s crawling with humans. Cue the chaos as VValak faces an all-out assault from vessels armed with big guns and an even bigger ego—classic human behavior.
The Anti-Hero You Love to Hate
As a point-and-click protagonist, VValak is quite the character. He’s rude, haughty, and oblivious to the suffering of his subjects—definitely not your typical hero. His refusal to carry anything adds a clever twist to the game’s design, allowing players to navigate puzzles without the hassle of a traditional inventory. His sarcasm is relentless, making for an engaging comedic experience.
The humor in Earth Must Die is unapologetically crude and cheeky. Expect a wealth of innuendos, including the aforementioned alien orgy, which comes with a cheeky disclaimer on Steam. And while you might not witness anything scandalous firsthand, the joke is always in the delivery—something the British voice talent nails with gusto.
Gameplay Dynamics
The gameplay in Earth Must Die follows the classic adventure game mold, albeit with a few tweaks. Instead of the traditional point-and-click controls, you navigate with WASD, which provides a refreshing take on movement. The puzzles are primarily solved using items found within the immediate environment, sparing you from the tedious task of combining random items.
VValak’s antics extend to his relationship with his trusty robot companion, Milky. Serving as both nurse and aide, she keeps a running “Milkapedia” that proves to be a crucial resource—surprising for a game that feels light on inventory management.
Puzzles and Narrative Flow
Puzzle design can be a mixed bag in modern adventure titles, but Earth Must Die delivers solid challenges. Standout moments often arise from VValak’s knack for verbal manipulation, while other puzzles maintain robust, classic designs. However, the game’s ending left a bit to be desired. It felt abrupt, and with adventure games often struggling to build up to a suitable climax, this felt like a classic case of the adventure game curse.
In Conclusion…
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (4 out of 5)
Earth Must Die offers an enjoyable romp through space, blending humor and puzzles effectively, albeit without reaching the heights of the genre’s best. It may not leave you gasping from laughter, but a grin will undoubtedly remain plastered on your face as you traverse its well-crafted narrative.
If you’re a fan of point-and-click adventures looking for something different, this title provides a delightful mix of British wit and engaging gameplay, all at a reasonable price. Grab your space suit and dive into the chaos—VValak is waiting.